I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
grandma shit on top of the toilet
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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