I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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