I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
