Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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