If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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