idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
