he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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