She said her name was "party"
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
