okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
