You work out of a Hotel?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
