nut hugger
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
