i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
