Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
of course. lets lasso hookers.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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