I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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