ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I think people are normalizing furries
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
