he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
