he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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