i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
