OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
