I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
