Rock
Scissors
Fuck
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
