Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
