You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
