Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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