kristin has been a bad kristin
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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