Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
