I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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