her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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