I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize