Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
