btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
