"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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