dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
