She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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