Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
