So drunk its hurt
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
