The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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