woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I need a burrito and a hug.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
