Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
