strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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