I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Enjoy the penises
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
