we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
