these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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