At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
