It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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