at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize