fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
BRING THE BAGELS
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize