it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize