Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
