I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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