this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
