i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
