I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Need sex. Gaining weight.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
