He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize