So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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