I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I wish I could punch you in the face.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
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