Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
