i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just gift wrapped bread.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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