you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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