Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize