how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
