True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
