i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
