I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
this just has baby written all over it
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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