i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
