i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
