You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
