Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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