Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
