So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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