he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
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