Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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