So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
