I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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