I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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