Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
