Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
