I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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