How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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