Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
How does it feel to date your dad?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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