This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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