I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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