She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
