who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
