Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
