I puked a lego.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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